How to Have a Good Conversation With Yourself?

While in the past we might have laughed quietly at the person talking to themselves — or in some cases, walked the other way — it turns out it’s actually not a bad thing.

In fact, self-talk can actually be beneficial to our mental and emotional health when done in a positive way, and a good conversation with yourself can do wonders for your mood.

Unfortunately, we tend to do the opposite most of the time: when things go wrong or we make mistakes, we silently berate ourselves for being “stupid,” “air-headed,” or “clutzy.”

It’s the total opposite of what would help us at the moment, but we do it anyway, albeit unintentionally the majority of the time.

A Conversation with a Friend

Think of it this way: if you had a friend that was having a hard time, would you call them names or tell them how badly they messed things up? Of course not! You would be supportive, let them vent, and talk to them about what’s bothering them.

The sad thing is, we often treat ourselves in a way we would never dream of treating others. It’s time to change that, and positive self-talk can help!

Questions to Ask Yourself

If you don’t know what to talk to yourself about, prompt questions can help. Try one of these to break the ice if you’re new to self-conversation:

What do I Need Right Now?

Is there something that you could do (or stop doing) that would help you with this particular situation? How can you be your own ally? Do you need to practice self-care, eat more nutritious foods, or get better quality sleep?

How Can I do Better?

Is there something that you can do to improve the current issue you’re facing? Is there a different perspective you could take to see it in a different light?

How Have I Handled This in the Past?

Have there been times in the past when you got through something similar? What worked for you then?

What Result do I Hope to Achieve?

Can you think of how you’d like the situation to turn out? How can you get to your desired resolution?

The great thing about self-talk is that it’s common you’ll find solutions to your own issues just by talking them out. Not only that but getting things that are bothering you off your chest makes space in your mind, getting rid of some of your mental clutter and finding clarity once again.

Examples of Positive Self-Talk to Try

There are no hard and fast rules for self-talk, as long as you’re being supportive of yourself. Some examples that might work for you could be:

• I can do this/I’m capable of handling this.
• I’m ok in this moment, and that’s all I need right now.
• I’ve got through worse, I can get through this, too.
• I believe in myself!
• I know there’s a solution to this, and I know I can find it.

Self-Talk is a Good Tactic for Self Improvement

The list is endless when it comes to possibilities, so just play around, and see what works for you. Maybe read through an old journal or two and use something from there (self-talk is a great alternative to journaling) or try out some positive affirmations and see if anything resonates.

The most important thing is that it feels good and works for you; beyond that, you make your own rules.

If you’ve been looking for a new way to feel better about yourself or about life in general, it could help to give self-talk a try. You’ll be surprised at how great it makes you feel, as well as the benefits of making being nicer to yourself a habit!